i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
