Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Randomize
