yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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