I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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