you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
