Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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