She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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