I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My vagina is officially offended.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
