just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
