Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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