ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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