I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
