i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
