she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There's always time for handjobs
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
