u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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