i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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