I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
