First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
it was like eating out sand paper
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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