I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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