The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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