Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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