I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
