i would punch a child for taco bell
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
