Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
