Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
this hospital has no fireball
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
