Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
