Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she looked like the before picture.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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