Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
