everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
