8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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