Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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