how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
