i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
