Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
