I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
