i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
