You just made me feel so damn special
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Do vagina's smell?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
