so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
