She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
