we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
