you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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