I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
did i walk over a car last night?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
