What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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