Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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