She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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