i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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