Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
