i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
