Three words: puerto rican gang bang
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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