This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
