went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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