I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
