i would punch a child for taco bell
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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