I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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