It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
