High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
