Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize