They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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