i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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