Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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