my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
